These are the gadgets you’re looking for…

Grant Nelson
By Grant Nelson

It’s no secret to anybody that knows me that I am a massive Star Wars fan, so it will come as no surprise that I’m also a sucker for a Star Wars themed gadget.

Aside from my vast collection of original trilogy figures and vehicles, and a bunch other collectables including helmets, lightsabers, two different official replica’s of Han Solo’s blaster (one from EP IV, and the slightly redesigned version from EP V) and a life-sized Han Solo in carbonite that sits proudly in my vocal booth, I love a bit of galactic tat.

From Stormtrooper Pez dispensers to R2D2 telephones I’ve given my money to the man for a fair amount of crap destined for the Jundland wastes.

With the launch of The Force Awakens imminent and my addiction once re-ignited I set off on a mission to scour the interweb looking for some of the more interesting and inventive things on offer, and boy did I find some.

So here are my top 10 Star Wars themed goodies to ask Santa for..

10. Fa Kin Su Pa

chopsticks

Remember that scene in The Empire Strikes Back where they sit down for a Chinese meal with Lando in Cloud City? No, neither do I but it doesn’t matter, these lightsaber chopsticks not only look cool but they actually light up too! I don’t know about you but my Sunday roast is going to be a lot more interesting from now on.

9. Use The Fork Luke

usethefork

Okay, before anybody starts accusing me of being all pretentious with the chopsticks, here is a mighty fine set for all you neanderthals still using cutlery.

8. Sleep in the belly of the beast

taunton

There were only a few “gory” scenes in the original trilogy, and most of them involved somebody getting their arm or hand chopped off. But there was one oozing slice of on screen tripe spilling that as a child I remember thinking was pretty rough at the time. The moment on Hoth when Han Solo slices open Luke’s dead ride and stuffs him inside amongst the giblets. Now you can relive that disturbingly unexpected scenario every single night in the comfort of your very own Tauntaun sleeping bag!

7. If it’s good enough for Vader…

hanice

Yeah this is pretty cool, a mould of Han Solo frozen in carbonite pops out a wicked ice cube. But what would be cooler is if you plopped that bad boy into a Han Solo cocktail. Yes it does exist and here’s the ingredients if you want to rustle one up :

  • 22.18 ml Vodka
  • 22.18 ml Gin
  • 22.18 ml Triple Sec
  • 22.18 ml Rum
  • 29.57 ml Bourbon Whiskey
  • 59.15 ml Sweet and Sour
  • 29.57 ml 101 Whiskey

View full instructions at Drinklab.org

6. Remember your dad joking that R2D2 looked like a dustbin?

r2d2bin

Well the joke is now on him because you can be the proud owner of your very own R2D2 trash can complete with flip top lid. At £285 I don’t fancy your chances of convincing your partner that you need it though, and even if you did, would you really want to throw that rotting lettuce and cat food in it?

5. Death Starter?

wafffle

Death Star – good, Waffles – good. Waffles in the shape of the Death Star? It’s a no brainer. Every home should have one. Stop reading this and order one right now!

4. Rolex schmolex…..

darthvaderwatch

If you thought the bin was pricey you’re about to have younglings at the cost of this Darth Vader inspired watch from LA based design team Devon. Featuring a bulletproof polycarbonate lens, four interwoven 2-micron thin nylon belts that tell the time, four micro-step motors, a total of 350 individual parts and a true-black diamond like coating to make it shine like Vader’s helmet, (hmmm, not sure that’s the best turn of phrase), this is one serious timepiece. So come on ladies, treat your fella this Christmas to one of these at the bargain price of $28,500. If you really love him you’ll do the right thing…

3. Imperial Beats

atat

Everybody knows that the AT-AT walkers were the baddest thing ever invented. That’s just a fact of life. But there was always one thing missing. 4 fat speakers! Okay that’s 4 things, don’t spoil it. That’s right, say hello to the AT-BT (All Terrain Beats Transport). Fling on your old Street Sounds albums, break out the lino, and for a mere $500, you can become the deadliest breakdancer in the Galaxy.

2. Be the captain of your own Millennium Falcon

falcon

It was a long wait before somebody made a remote controlled Millennium Falcon quad copter and just like buses, along come a few at the same time. After watching various videos on youtube this one from Air Hogs seems to be the kiddie though. Complete with front and back lights that look wicked in the dark and a set of sound effects from the movies, this has post Christmas dinner carnage written all over it.

1. Money can buy you everything… but these!

decks

I know it’s a bit of a tease but I had to include them as they are things of beauty! Custom built by Jesse Dean Customs they are not available to buy. We can but drool over possibly the only two items in the Galaxy that could bridge the vinyl / digital gap and finally bring the rebels and the empire together for one f#@! off party…